So I went to see the Dr and next time i’m going to talk to him about black and white thinking

Now I’ve brought along a few things on a-typical drug responses but they do require some extrapolation and background information which is why I brought along the anecdotal evidence that generalized them. I’ll also ignore autism a little and just go on to explain myself and how those responses relate to me and how I may other wise be somewhat of a unusual patient.

Do you know about Autism/Asperger Syndrome and black and white thinking? I can bring in some literature if needed.
I’ll try to explain simply how it relates to me, how I think and how that relates to a-typical drug responses and what may appear to be odd answers to some of your questions.

Now with black and white thinking it’s all kind of yes and no and no maybe’s and that applies to logical thought, as well as emotions and physical senses, feelings, and other senses. You’ve heard the expression love or hate, now for me in a black and white sense the emotions are more love or kill, well love, ignore or kill and I haven’t killed anyone yet… So when I get angry, with is very rare, I get the feeling of pure anger, when I get frustrated, pure frustration,  when I’m in love, pure love, no grey areas. I suppose happy and depressed are the only two things where I get a reasonable amount of grey but then still I can get really happy and really depressed. All my emotions, not just happy and sad as in bi-polar. My feelings and other senses are also similar, for instance I can brake bones or be punched in the face an not even feel it, at the time or at any time. However sometimes I get pain severe enough to pretty much knock me out that lasts for months, for instance I once fell off my bike and didn’t leave a mark but I was in pain that almost knocked me out whenever I moved my arm. My ex partners friend, who is a qualified physio, looked at my arm and as I suspected there was nothing physically wrong with it. Other senses such as hearing, sight or taste are similar.

I also get a similar thing with drug responses, for instance low doses of SSRIs make me manic and paranoid, the only time I’ve ever got manic / paranoid, I’d get stopped several times in a month by police for speeding for instance. Other antidepressants I’ve tried have had similar negative or no effects on me. Antipsychotics have not just stopped some of my though but taken all pleasure of thought away, making me almost consciously thoughtless, and leading me to seek as much pleasure in other ways that I can, getting addicted to food and putting on masses of weight for instance, pacing around continuously etc… they also blocked all my emotions, not just some of them, and my feelings started coming out psychically in the form of vomiting and incontinence, as you can see from my medical records, and possibly emotionally as canker sores which are also on my records. I also had psudohallucinations, hallucinations that I knew where not real. Though I didn’t report it at the time and a large number of other strong side effects from various antipsychotics. I also had quite nasty withdrawal from rispiridone when I stopped taking it, eventually resulting in psychosis.
Not all medications have such ‘strong’ effects on me, some have a more moderate effect, such as stimulants but even those make me sleepy at times, kind of a strengthening of the calming a-typical effect that have on people with Attention Deficiency Hyperactivity  Disorder which I have.

I may also give a very black and white, ‘overly’ precise answer to a question you may ask me or in a similar vain have difficulty in understanding something you’ve said if it’s not so black and white.

Anyhow there are a number of other things such as me going inward and getting tired instead of going out ward and having explosive meltdowns and benzo’s keeping me awake but I think I’ve just about covered the basics of how black and white thinking affect me and how it may affect my treatment.

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